


Panic attacks and awkward kisses

by B_atiful



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bad Writing, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, Panic Attacks, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 20:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17231087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_atiful/pseuds/B_atiful
Summary: this is self indulgent. And not good. Dont read it it i made it for me.Also FUCK ao3s tagging system they changed it and it fucking sucksTags i couldn't add.10th grade writing at best. I wrote this after being up all night. Poorly described panic attack. Poorly described trauma. Idk enough about ptsd so im gonna say this isn't ptsd. Paul has a panic attackPlease don't read its not good. Dorks in love. Idk how to begin or end stories sorry. Ooc. Not in character. First time writing characters.





	Panic attacks and awkward kisses

**Author's Note:**

> Bad.

Paul was very much the man to say no to things. He was blunt and very open in the fact he didn't like doing most things. So when bill came up to him after work, practically yelling about he had gotten tickets to ' _working boys'_ some shitty musical coming out that had blown up, he basically expected himself to say no.

 

But, for once, he didn't. It had been around 4-5 months sense shit popped off. Everything ended fine, Paul blew up the fucking mother brain fine, the infected, with a little help, slowly but surely patched themselves together. Even people with seemingly irreversable damage like gun shot ted or fucking intestines rip out charlotte. Everyone in hatchedfiel was slowly working their lives together. Charlotte divorced her husband, Ted had cleaned up a bit from his sleeze ball ways (not entirely. Hes still a jackass but hes getting better.) And bill and Alice, probably to little surprise. Had been getting a lot better. They had proper father daughter emotional talks and were working things out.

And, for her birthday, almost out of spite to her mother, bill had scored tickets to the biggest show in the fucking country. (Which, to pauls fucking shock as he researched it. Had been directed by that guy who tried to kill him. Luckily though as it was a local show professor lunatic wouldnt be starring. Dipstick was busy on Broadway.) And, if only to help his friend and the kid he babysitted through a lot of her childhood, he had reluctantly agreed. Even if it wasnt gonna bring him any amount of enjoyment, hed do his one proper nice thing of the year.

And now here paul was, sitting in a umcomfortable chairs staring at a dark stage. Surrounded by his small group of people he tolerated. Emma sitting next to him, bordly flicking through her phone. Bill, deb, and his daughter chattered excitedly on his other side quietly as they waited for the curtains to rise. Ted and charlotte were _somewhere_ around him. (Ted, from what he had seen on the way there. Was weirdly fucking pumped.)

It was still hatchetfield, so objectively it wasn't the biggest crowd, especially sense people went through a lot of shit a couple months back regarding musicals. The crowd was only full because people found out hatchetfield had the show before it went on tour for like 1/6th of the broadways price.

 

He boredly stared ahead, staring at the dark stage, listening patiently at the mindless chatter from the audience. Almost wanting to just close his eyes and sleep through the whole thing.

But then the lights over the audience dimmed, and so quickly did the conversation. Spottlights flicked on loudly, all facing the closed curtains over the stage. The loud whir of tuning string instruments could be heard, to quiet the audience fully.

_Oh goodie._

 

It started out slowly at first, a man standing bent over a desk, shuffling papers and shit. Before walking to center stage and almost immediately breaking into loud ridiculously fast song. Paul almost felt like laughing. He wasn't an expert on musical theatre but damn.

He stayed staring after the first few notes played. Though almost immediately his throat started to feel tight. He tighted his grip on the arm rest of his chair. Paul never like musicals (obviously), they were always so cramped, and he had to sit their forced to listen to people sing and dance and shit for 2 hours. It always felt so trapped. So this discomfort wasn't new but.

Shit it was.

He felt his heart stutter as he closed his eyes, trying to tune out the music. God. God God God. Within a second it almost felt like he wasn't in a chair, he was standing up in the middle of the street and all of this was happening around him. The singing the dancing, the shitty internal monologues.  because of this shitty theatres design when he closed his eyes the speakers really did make it feel like it was all around him. They were singing all around him, and reaching for him. Charlotte was singing, bill was, ted was. They were all coming for him. He couldn't make up the words well anymore but he could hear the Showtune melody and _see_ them. Ted. And charlotte. And bill. And mr Davidson. And alice. And zoe. Deb. Dr hidgens. Emma. Emma emma. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. P-

 

"Paul!" A harsh whisper clicked in his ear as the music continued to play, paul almost choked on his breath. He quickly turned his head, to see Emma staring at him in alarm. He tried to catch his breath. He face felt wet. "Holy shit paul, are you okay?" Emma whispered quietly, now resting a hand on his arm.

"I- i need to take a breather." He frantically stood up, quickly darting to the isle, and out the exit of the theatre. Quickly exiting the building and onto the street. He leaned heavily against the wall of the starlight. His hands pressing against the cool stone to stone himself. He head resting against the brick.

  


He could still faintly hear the sound of the musical behind him, but favored focusing on counting his breath. He hadn't realized hed been hyper ventilating.

Shit. he hadn't properly thought about what had _happened_ the past few months. He didn't have much reason to, everyone was fine. All of them got out alive. Paul had saved them. The alien motherfuckers were killed and everyone was fine. He had no reason to be afraid. _So why the fuck was he._

He scrubbed tears out of his eyes harshly with the palm of his hand. Leaving it pressed against his face for a moment as he choked down an audible sob. Biting the inside of his cheek to quiet himself. His breath was still pretty unsteady.

 

Suddenly the music got a bit louder, as the clicking of doors opening was head from his side, before they clicked closed and the music fell muffled again.

"Paul?" Shit. He continues to look forward, subconsiously turning his head ever slightly down. Not making any eye contact.

"Shit, are you okay?" Emma walked closer, paul opened his mouth to respond but only let out a quicking whining sound before he quickly closed his mouth again.

 

"Fuck. Is there anything i can do to help?"

"Just-" he held his breath for a moment as his voice croaked. "-go enjoy the show!"

"That play fucking sucks and you know it. Whats wrong?"

"Its- its nothing emma."

"Thats bullshit and i know it."

Paul let out a ridiculously shaky laugh. "I just-

The music r---eminded me of- the shit that hap-happened and I- i don't have any reason to be scared i just got- i panicked and i - I needed air." He got cut up on words and his voice cracked multiple times but he did manage the full sentence.

  


"Fuck i get that." He hears her shuffling, leaning against the wall next to him. He glances at her through the corner of his eye, shes looking straight ahead. "I had to hear the pitch for that musical while i was tied up and he almost killed me."

"Hol - holy shit Emma im sorry-!"

"Its whatever. Hidgens has always been a little bonkers, i should have been more on my toes."

 

Paul sniffed, whiping his face. Smiling softly. Her presence always made him feel. Comfortable. It was weird, she had the same bluntness he had and it made him feel, he doesnt know. Safer, he supposes around her. Even when she was just the _"""""""""_ _latté hotté_ _"""""""_ he still felt nice around her.

"We all should have been. Hey, atleast you didn't have to sing." He smiles shakily, tilting his head down.

"I _still_ don't believe you sang. You can say you did all you want that's fiction."

He snickered.

"Alright miss 'morning cup of joey'"

"How the fuck do you remember that."

At that Paul had to lift his hand to cover his mouth as he started laughing for just a second. A weak but full laugh.

 

"We're out. That's all that matters. I don't work at beanies any more and we never have to fucking sing again."   


"Hallelujah."

  


They stayed like that for a moment. Just leaning against the wall, listening to the quiet cheers of the audience as the opening number finished. And then as another song started, and another round of applause.

  


"Hey Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"We've been out here for like 15 fucking minutes and i really want to sit down."

"Alright, desk job.  


You think you can manage going inside? Atleast to the lobby."

"I can try" he said, in a resigned huff.

 

Emma took a step towards the close by door.

  


"Hey um-! Emma!"

"Yeah Paul?"

"Remember um, when the helicopter crashed and i tried to Kiss you and you vomited blood on my face. And then i was in the hospital for the explosion and alien shit for a couple of months, and you were busy finding a job, and then we didn't really talk about it at all after that?"

"Yeah?"

"Well y'know- i was wondering if i could like-" his voice raised in octives awkwardly, he fidgeted with his hands.

 

Emma seemed to be slightly flustered, though it was much harder to tell than with Paul. She rubbed her arm before stepping back towards. "Yeah,, sure." She sounded a little bit quieter than usual. Almost more akward. 

Paul quickly took the hint and walked closer. Placing an arm on her waist, leaning down slowly, almost dramatically slowly. Probably too slowly. Emma had to move forward the rest of the way to finish the kiss.

  


It was not great. You would think these 2 grown ass 30 year old adults would be better at it than this but they were awkward as hell. Emma placed a hand on his shoulder, grabbing a little tight, while paul rested a hand against her cheek, holding it way to stiff. Pauls face was still covered in tears and snot.

The pair pulled away after a moment, staring eachother in the eyes.

  


"That sucked."

"It sure did." Emma responded within the beat.

"Maybe we try again when I havent been crying for 20 minutes."

"Sounds like a plan." she detached from his grasp, akwardly shooting him a finger gun. Giving him a slightly awkward but sincere smile. She was clearly blushing though, even under the light.

  


Man paul loved her.

 

The sound of the door to the starlight clicking rang through their ears as the muffled music became slightly louder. The pair glanced into the lobby to catch an unexpected sight.

Bill, Charlotte, and Ted, we're all sitting around in the lobby waiting for the pair.

Charlotte and bill were both sitting in the general lobby area, while ted had pulled his chair halfway across the room to peak in through the door to watch the show. Bill seemed to be half focussed on his phone before paul and emma walked in.

  


As they did, all 3 seemed to look to them, ted closing the door to the theatre.

"Oh! Oh Paul you frightened us! Are you doing alright?" Charlotte, in her natural state, seemed vaguelly panicked, as she quickly moved to her feet.

"Have you been waiting out here this entire time?"

"Uh- _yeah!_ And we missed atleast 2 songs because of it!" Ted piped up, standing up and kicking his chair back to wear it belonged.

"Yeah, the girls are still watching the show but we got worried. I probably should have realized a musical objectively wasn't the best for all of us." Bill stood up awkwardly, placing his phone into his pocket.

 

"Its fine. Besides i did agree to come here. Though ive learned my lesson and im going back to never doing anything i don't want to do. Im never going to any event any of you invite me to again."

Yeah thats- thats understandable." Bill laughed.

We would have come out sooner but we assumed emma had it settled."

  


Emma at this point was just looking at a wall, still slightly blushy.

 

"We're just glad you two are alright!!"

"Hey, stop with all this ' we' shit you guys you're starting to sound like the hive mind.

Scare us like that again paul and _I_ will bury a knife in your chest."

Paul laughed awkwardly, subconsiously raising his hands to his chest slightly.

 

"Um- alice was expecting us back like. Ten minutes ago." Bill inturrupted, "do you think you're alright to come back in?"

"No.

-ah- the rest of you can go though! I'll be fine out here! Enjoy your show."

That was apparently all the go ted needed, as he literally was already in the theatre by that point. Charlotte followed quickly after.

"If you're sure." Paul nods reassuringly at bill, before the man entires the theatre.

 

"Arent you gonna go?"

"Are you kidding me? That show fucking sucks."

_"Oh my god it does."_

"I know right!

Hey, Paul. After this, do you wanna go see that movie you promised me half a year ago?"

  


"I'd like that."


End file.
